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1. Decide what is most important to you, and spend your money there. There are tons of lists and graphs and breakdowns that tell you how much you should spend and what percentage of your budget things should be, but we didn't follow them at all. In a budget of $2500, we spent $1500 of it on our photographer, because that was more important to us than party favors or a DJ or even my dress (which I made).
2. Decide what things you really care about, and choose not to care about the rest. I am the opposite of a bridezilla. I call myself an "anti-bride." In fact I kinda wanted to elope and not even have a wedding. What's important to me?
- Getting married to my best friend
- Wearing a dress I made myself
- Dancing with my Husband
- Dancing with my Dad
- Having great pictures
- Having my friends and family around me
Literally everything else is just extra stuff. I don't care what shoes the bridesmaids wear. I don't care if you put pink ribbon or white ribbon around the baby's breath. I don't even care what flavor of cake we have.
So I let other people care about those things for me.
My future MIL is amazing, and is taking care of all the stuff I don't care about, which is great because I don't have to do it, and can focus on the things I do care about. Delegate, yes, But more than that, choose not to care about things that aren't important. I could get all worked up about the color of the tablecloths or what kind of flowers we use for the boutonnieres, but it's not high on my priority list, and so I'm choosing to not care.
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3. Start Pre-marital counseling immediately. 'nuff said.
4. Do what you need to do to stay chill. If I'm going into a highly stressful situation (bridal shower, wedding meeting, any situation with more than six people in the room) I keep these 3 things on hand:
- Emergency medication (to chill the f out)
- My phone (so I can text Lover and have him help me escape - by the way this is a great thing to talk about BEFORE an event. More on that later.)
- Secret alcohol
No I'm not an alcoholic, but yes, I will day-drink if it'll keep me from having a panic attack in public.
I'm not a social person, guys. I'm highly introverted, highly created, easily over-stimulated, and an energy sponge. The only way I survived my Bridal shower without having an anxiety attack during the event was with a full Tervis tumbler of Baileys on the rocks (totally looks like iced coffee). And that party was specifically planned with my anxiety in mind.
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5. Don't move and plan a wedding at the same time. Just don't. I'm doing it now and it sucks. I have zero time.
Move before the wedding: If you know you're going to get married, or you just got engaged, start moving immediately (as in right after you set the date/time/place and venue/photographer). Move in, and if you don't feel comfortable living together before marriage, find a couch or home you can crash in and live out of your suitcase for a bit. I really wish we had done this, it would make our lives a gazillion times easier. I have so many people I could have stayed with for short times, and it would have been so much less stress.
Move after the wedding: Sometimes you won't have the luxury, but find your apartment/home, sign your lease, and just straight-up don't start moving until after the honeymoon. Just don't even freaking worry about it. You have years ahead of you.
Anyway, that's how I'm surviving... basically it all comes down to "don't give a f*ck, and day-drink if you have to."
That's just the kind of girl I am! and you know what?... I'm OK with it. And Lover is too.